The Symptoms No One Warned Us About
We grew up believing that menopause was basically one thing:
hot flashes.
Our mothers didn’t talk about their experiences. Sometimes because it was taboo, and sometimes because they genuinely didn’t realize what was happening. Perimenopause wasn’t studied, supported, or understood the way it is now, so women were left to navigate random, uncomfortable, and confusing symptoms in silence.
So let’s talk about it.
Here are just a few of the very normal, very human symptoms that can show up during perimenopause (even as early as your mid-30s).
Frozen Shoulder, Random Aches & Musculoskeletal Weirdness
Shoulder pain that feels like you slept wrong… but didn’t.
A stiff neck that comes out of nowhere.
An upper back that suddenly feels tight, crunchy, or inflamed.
This happens because estrogen helps keep connective tissue hydrated and flexible. When estrogen fluctuates, tendons stiffen, inflammation increases, and the smallest movement can feel like an injury.
Frozen shoulder is one of the most under-recognized perimenopause symptoms — and one of the most common among women aged 40–55.
Sensory + Neurological Shifts
Hormones communicate with your nervous system, so when they wobble, your senses often wobble too.
Common examples:
Phantom smells (smelling cigarette smoke, perfume, or burning)
New migraines, even if you’ve never had them before
Ringing ears
That horrible weird itch deep inside the back of your throat or ear
Brain fog or losing words mid-sentence
Clumsiness, random dizziness, or vertigo
You’re not imagining it — these are real, documented neurological shifts related to hormone fluctuation.
Skin & Barrier Changes
Many women notice:
Dry, reactive, itchy skin
New sensitivities to products that used to be fine
Adult acne from estrogen/androgen imbalance
That flaky skin when putting on foundation or tinted moisturizer.
Eczema, hives, or odd new allergies
Your skin becomes more delicate because estrogen fuels collagen, moisture retention, and barrier strength. When estrogen fluctuates, your skin feels it first.
Hair & Nail Changes
This is where women often say, “Why didn’t anyone tell me my hair might change?”
Common shifts include:
Thinning hair on the scalp
Drier, duller strands
Shorter growth cycles (your hair won’t grow as long)
Chin hair that suddenly appears (yes… very normal)
Brittle nails that split or peel easily
These changes stem from the same hormonal pathways that influence skin and oil production.
Some Reassurance: You’re Not Late. You’re Not Early. You’re Not Imagining Things.
Perimenopause is messy, surprising, deeply human, and wildly under-discussed. But you’re not alone in it, and you’re not imagining these symptoms.
Your body isn’t malfunctioning - It’s transitioning. t’s recalibrating. It’s shifting into a new season - one you deserve to walk through with support, knowledge, and so much more compassion than past generations ever received.
What You Can Do
If any of these symptoms feel familiar, here’s the gentle truth:
You don’t have to pull up your bootstraps to get your way through it. And you don’t have to guess.
✔️ See your doctor or a hormone-literate provider
You deserve real answers, not shrugging or dismissiveness. Ask about checking your hormones, thyroid, iron, and vitamin D — all of which influence how you feel.
✔️ Track your symptoms
A simple notes app or journal works. Patterns appear quickly when you write things down, and it helps you advocate for yourself.
✔️ Listen to your skin and hair
If your products suddenly stop working, if your scalp feels different, if your skin becomes reactive — it’s not “just you.” It’s your hormones shifting. Soften your routine. Hydrate more. Support your barrier. Adjust as you go.
✔️ Have the conversation
Talk to your friends. Your sisters. Your daughters.
Let’s unlearn the silence our mothers inherited.
Let’s make these symptoms normal to discuss — because they are normal.
And talking about it helps every woman who feels alone or confused right now.
You Don’t Have to Navigate It Alone
This is a season of transition, not decline. And the more we understand what’s happening in our bodies, the more empowered, connected, and confident we feel moving through it.
If you want to talk about skin in transition, soothing routines, or gentle support for this chapter, I’m right here. Let’s talk about it and compare random realizations and symptoms together.
